Residents with ‘Good Personalities’ Disappointed in CDC’s ‘Irresponsible’ End of Pandemic Masking

“Data shows that we’ll never be at herd immunity anyway. I’m tired of the CDC trying to tell me what I can and can’t do with my life,” said Tripping Falls resident Janice Newberry. 

On Thursday, the CDC announced that fully vaccinated people could ditch the masks. This is a much-needed dose of good news for the country, which has been devastated by the coronavirus pandemic. But some are hesitant to comply. 

“I still care about my community’s safety,” said Newberry. “I’m not a sheep, and I’m not going to stop wearing a mask just because the CDC says I can.” 

True, the United States is not likely to reach herd immunity anytime soon, but for now it feels like America is back, just in time for summer. 

“I’m like a 10 from the nose up,” said town goatherd Kyle Leach. “I was taking down an unreasonable amount of chotch over the pandemic. For a guy who makes his own kombucha, herds goats and wears canvas ponchos, this was my own personal summer of love. Back to washing all of my face, I guess” said Leach. 

(Most) Tripping Fallers are excited, however, as this news brings with it the hope of a big return-to-normal for the summer events season. 

The Town’s next event — the Taxidermy Toss, is predicted to move forward as scheduled in early June, with limited capacity for now. But after the CDC’s announcement, tickets may be made available on a broader basis. 

Stay tuned for more news from north-central Colorado as we follow these exciting developments.