Quarantined DJ Still Heckled to Play ‘Free Bird’ from Home Studio

“It’s not even normal to request ‘Free Bird’ from a DJ. That’s more of a live band thing,” said Tripping Falls’ resident DJ, who goes by the name Beat Squatch. 

After contracting the delta variant a week ago, Beat Squatch was asked by the Town to quarantine in his home indefinitely. 

“I got the vaccine. I just also really like licking door handles. Some people drink. Some people eat fabric softener sheets. I lick door handles,” said the DJ. 

Meanwhile, the Town is left without live music, and the owners of the Brown Recluse Saloon have mixerd feelings. 

“On one hand, people have been in a much better mood and are buying more alcohol. On the other hand, Beat Squatch’s DJ setup really covered up the blood stain in the corner,” said Barry McCockner, owner of the Brown Recluse Saloon. 

But, Beat Squatch’s loyal fan(s) are making sure the recluse DJ knows he’s not been forgotten. 

“Every day, at least one smartass sends me a request for ‘Free Bird’ on my Facebook page. Honestly I’m going to cut together a ‘Freebird’ supermix to shut them all up…you know, ironically,” said the DJ. 

As the Town gears up for fall and winter events, the need for live music wanes a bit. But Beat Squatch is looking forward to releasing his next album in the spring — a collection of showtunes set to house beats, with throat singing as the vocal accompaniment.